If you've read the blog this far, you have no doubt, questions about this woman. Could she really do those things? Is that the whole story?
Here it is for you - http://www.kpbs.org/news/2012/aug/17/san-diego-family-lives-out-their-van/
This happened before I even knew they were in San Diego. Keep in mind, I was paying $2,200 a month in child support. That's not including the $500 I paid in medical and dental insurance for them - a month. So this story should really make people ask some questions. She was getting more than the average working family in the US. A month. Yet she had them living in a van, sleeping in a YMCA parking lot.
After seeing this, I filed paperwork for custody. I had a job and a home. The court not only denied me, they took away my legal custody. Her argument was that my place wasn't large enough for them. I can assure you - my place was larger than a van. And there was a school two blocks away. Oh, I forgot to mention that she is against schools, and said that her life-long dream is to homeschool. She said that's her dream job. Someone who has no education's dream is to homeschool.
Here are a couple other videos so you can see what she tells the world.
http://www.detroitnews.com/media/cinematic/video/20864039/homeless-mother-of-five-finds-a-place-to-live-in-woodhaven/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAnbMeRtuA8&feature=youtu.be
Now here is my story, in pictures, because they speak a thousand words - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuA2vRQtH54
Monday, June 29, 2015
Sunday, January 11, 2015
11 Jan 2015 - Accountability
Today is Sunday, January 11, 2015.
The last time I saw my kids was April of 2014.
My ex proposed to the court that we used a site called Talking Parents to communicate - that way everything would be documented. I was all for it. She always took better notes than me anyway (because I didn't spend my days plotting on how I could screw her over).
At any rate, on my oldest son's birthday, I called to talk to him. She answered and told me she was on the phone and to call back in an hour. So I called back an hour later. She told me she was still on the phone, and to call back in half an hour. When I reminded her that she told me to call back in an hour, and I did, she brushed it off saying that it was no big deal and I'd have plenty of time to talk to them (trying to make it seem like I was overreacting). So I called back half an hour later. She answered again and said they were leaving the place they were at, but I could talk for a quick minute.
I asked my son what he wanted - he told me he wanted a character in a video game called League of Legends. I told him I'd purchase that character for him and we could play together as soon as he got home.
So I did, and he logged on, we started the mission and within two minutes of playing the game, he got scared, said, "I have to go" and disconnected. This is an online multiplayer and highly competitive game, so when a player disconnects intentionally, they can be banned or have other negative consequences. It was only 8:30 pm and they did not have school the next day.
I called and told him to put his mother on the phone. When she answered, she told me in a cold voice that he was not allowed to be on the computer. I told her, rather loudly, that it was his birthday and all he wanted was to play this one game with me. I told her if she kept punishing them when they wanted to spend time with me, it would result in them wanting to leave her. She hung up on me and I've never heard from them since.
I went to Michigan last August. I told her and the kids in February that I would be in town for my grandmother's funeral, my mother's birthday and a the family reunion (all in one weekend). February. First she told them, "You've already seen your father this year."
Next she told them, "You weren't invited." When I told them of course they were, she told me that they had already made reservations for a vacation that weekend - and that they were made a year ago. I told her, if you want me to believe that you planned a vacation a year ago for the one weekend out of the entire year that I would be in Michigan - show me the receipt. She said "due to the restraining order, I will not give out any personal information."
Then she stopped checking Talking Parents, stopped communicating entirely, changed her phone number and ended all contact. A couple months and it will be a year since I saw them.
I filed over a dozen visitation violations to the DA, and it all accounts for nothing. It even says on the site that "no further action will be taken" and that it is only for records. So now I have to go back to court and pay almost a thousand dollars (of which I have none) just to make the court enforce it's own order.
Gotta love the US Family Court system. It's so fair and not in any way biased against fathers.
The last time I saw my kids was April of 2014.
My ex proposed to the court that we used a site called Talking Parents to communicate - that way everything would be documented. I was all for it. She always took better notes than me anyway (because I didn't spend my days plotting on how I could screw her over).
At any rate, on my oldest son's birthday, I called to talk to him. She answered and told me she was on the phone and to call back in an hour. So I called back an hour later. She told me she was still on the phone, and to call back in half an hour. When I reminded her that she told me to call back in an hour, and I did, she brushed it off saying that it was no big deal and I'd have plenty of time to talk to them (trying to make it seem like I was overreacting). So I called back half an hour later. She answered again and said they were leaving the place they were at, but I could talk for a quick minute.
I asked my son what he wanted - he told me he wanted a character in a video game called League of Legends. I told him I'd purchase that character for him and we could play together as soon as he got home.
So I did, and he logged on, we started the mission and within two minutes of playing the game, he got scared, said, "I have to go" and disconnected. This is an online multiplayer and highly competitive game, so when a player disconnects intentionally, they can be banned or have other negative consequences. It was only 8:30 pm and they did not have school the next day.
I called and told him to put his mother on the phone. When she answered, she told me in a cold voice that he was not allowed to be on the computer. I told her, rather loudly, that it was his birthday and all he wanted was to play this one game with me. I told her if she kept punishing them when they wanted to spend time with me, it would result in them wanting to leave her. She hung up on me and I've never heard from them since.
I went to Michigan last August. I told her and the kids in February that I would be in town for my grandmother's funeral, my mother's birthday and a the family reunion (all in one weekend). February. First she told them, "You've already seen your father this year."
Next she told them, "You weren't invited." When I told them of course they were, she told me that they had already made reservations for a vacation that weekend - and that they were made a year ago. I told her, if you want me to believe that you planned a vacation a year ago for the one weekend out of the entire year that I would be in Michigan - show me the receipt. She said "due to the restraining order, I will not give out any personal information."
Then she stopped checking Talking Parents, stopped communicating entirely, changed her phone number and ended all contact. A couple months and it will be a year since I saw them.
I filed over a dozen visitation violations to the DA, and it all accounts for nothing. It even says on the site that "no further action will be taken" and that it is only for records. So now I have to go back to court and pay almost a thousand dollars (of which I have none) just to make the court enforce it's own order.
Gotta love the US Family Court system. It's so fair and not in any way biased against fathers.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
The Children's Mistake
November 5, 2014.
So my kids got to visit me here in sunny San Diego back in April. My ex had a good job at Delta Airlines - which means she could fly free - ANYWHERE. What an awesome job, right?
The court papers said I only had the kids for one week. So that's what I expected. Until she told me that she needed them to stay longer.... two WEEKS longer. Now I'm all for more time with the kids. I love having time with them. I'd have taken them longer if need be. But the money I pay to the US court system is based on how much time I have with the kids. So my ex was all about making me have minimum time on paper, but then maximizing the -actual- time I have with them. So that I'd be paying extra. She uses the excuse that I should thank her for the extra time. Which I would, if she'd be honest to the court about it. But she continues to tell the judge that I have no interest in the children, that I never ask after their education or health or anything else.
When my oldest told her he had the most fun he'd ever had in his life, she promptly quit her job - thereby destroying any chance for them to fly to California again. When I tried Skyping with them, she said their computer broke. When I tried calling them, she told me she had a job that required her to be on the phone all day. I asked, when could I call? She said only Mondays and Wednesdays, and only between 6:30 and 8:00. I called every Monday and every Wednesday for FOUR months. She never answered the phone a single time.
So far, I've missed Tristram's birthday. I've missed Gabriel's birthday. I missed Halloween. I'm about to miss Israel's birthday and Thanksgiving next. I haven't had any contact - at all - since June.
In fact, she changed her phone number and told everyone she had to because I was harassing her. I guess calling during the times she specified counts as harassment these days.
At any rate, the children have paid the price. I can't send them presents. I can't play games with them. I can't even talk to them. I don't know where they are. I don't know what's happening to them. And this is all Okay, in her mind, because she is the victim and she's protecting herself and her children.
Another point for Borderline Personality Disorder and the awesome Family Court system, who gets incentive pay based on how many child support cases they have open, how much they charge, and how much is owed in back child support. This is all free information you can find on the web. The laws are publicly displayed. The last US senator who tried to fight the corruption (Nancy Schaefer) was shot dead in her living room, along with her husband, and the police ruled it a "murder-suicide" - despite the protests of all the neighbors and family and friends. Imagine that.
So my kids got to visit me here in sunny San Diego back in April. My ex had a good job at Delta Airlines - which means she could fly free - ANYWHERE. What an awesome job, right?
The court papers said I only had the kids for one week. So that's what I expected. Until she told me that she needed them to stay longer.... two WEEKS longer. Now I'm all for more time with the kids. I love having time with them. I'd have taken them longer if need be. But the money I pay to the US court system is based on how much time I have with the kids. So my ex was all about making me have minimum time on paper, but then maximizing the -actual- time I have with them. So that I'd be paying extra. She uses the excuse that I should thank her for the extra time. Which I would, if she'd be honest to the court about it. But she continues to tell the judge that I have no interest in the children, that I never ask after their education or health or anything else.
When my oldest told her he had the most fun he'd ever had in his life, she promptly quit her job - thereby destroying any chance for them to fly to California again. When I tried Skyping with them, she said their computer broke. When I tried calling them, she told me she had a job that required her to be on the phone all day. I asked, when could I call? She said only Mondays and Wednesdays, and only between 6:30 and 8:00. I called every Monday and every Wednesday for FOUR months. She never answered the phone a single time.
So far, I've missed Tristram's birthday. I've missed Gabriel's birthday. I missed Halloween. I'm about to miss Israel's birthday and Thanksgiving next. I haven't had any contact - at all - since June.
In fact, she changed her phone number and told everyone she had to because I was harassing her. I guess calling during the times she specified counts as harassment these days.
At any rate, the children have paid the price. I can't send them presents. I can't play games with them. I can't even talk to them. I don't know where they are. I don't know what's happening to them. And this is all Okay, in her mind, because she is the victim and she's protecting herself and her children.
Another point for Borderline Personality Disorder and the awesome Family Court system, who gets incentive pay based on how many child support cases they have open, how much they charge, and how much is owed in back child support. This is all free information you can find on the web. The laws are publicly displayed. The last US senator who tried to fight the corruption (Nancy Schaefer) was shot dead in her living room, along with her husband, and the police ruled it a "murder-suicide" - despite the protests of all the neighbors and family and friends. Imagine that.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
24 Aug 2013 Early Ending
So I wanted a little more time with the kids, so I could read Tristram's favorite book to him, allow Addy to tell me what she's been doing, and then have time for them all to play the board game I spent months creating for them.
I emailed two days before hand and said I'll be online an hour earlier. (Originally, my ex said that the allotted time available was 8 am to 2 pm - which is 5 am to 11 am my time). Normally, I sign on about 9 am and talk to them until 11. So I said I'd be there around 8. Her response was "the kids will be on at the regular time".
Translation - I'm giving you the bare minimum time with your kids.
So around 9 am they log on. I read to Tristram. I talk to Israel. Then we start the mission on the board game. Israel goes into the kitchen, goes into the fridge, grabs butter, unwraps it, carries it back into the room, smears butter on their iPad (the only device the kids have to communicate with me). It cuts off the call, the kids scramble to clean it, and when the call is finally reestablished, I make the comment "Are there any adults around to watch Israel?".
Two minutes later, my ex tells them to turn off Skype. I say, "We still have 40 mins." She says, "Justin, when I say your time is up, your time is up." The program closes.
But they're still online. I send messages and emails, no response. I try calling them back, get the message that they're busy. In Skype, if they are still green-light-active, this means they are in another call. After that I got no response.
So this week I got a whopping hour and 20 mins with my five kids. And watch, I guarantee that when I go to court next week, she'll tell the judge that I'm not interested in spending time with the kids, that I barely spend an hour a week with them. She'll also tell the judge that she bends over backwards trying to accommodate me, but that I simply don't make the children a priority.
I emailed two days before hand and said I'll be online an hour earlier. (Originally, my ex said that the allotted time available was 8 am to 2 pm - which is 5 am to 11 am my time). Normally, I sign on about 9 am and talk to them until 11. So I said I'd be there around 8. Her response was "the kids will be on at the regular time".
Translation - I'm giving you the bare minimum time with your kids.
So around 9 am they log on. I read to Tristram. I talk to Israel. Then we start the mission on the board game. Israel goes into the kitchen, goes into the fridge, grabs butter, unwraps it, carries it back into the room, smears butter on their iPad (the only device the kids have to communicate with me). It cuts off the call, the kids scramble to clean it, and when the call is finally reestablished, I make the comment "Are there any adults around to watch Israel?".
Two minutes later, my ex tells them to turn off Skype. I say, "We still have 40 mins." She says, "Justin, when I say your time is up, your time is up." The program closes.
But they're still online. I send messages and emails, no response. I try calling them back, get the message that they're busy. In Skype, if they are still green-light-active, this means they are in another call. After that I got no response.
So this week I got a whopping hour and 20 mins with my five kids. And watch, I guarantee that when I go to court next week, she'll tell the judge that I'm not interested in spending time with the kids, that I barely spend an hour a week with them. She'll also tell the judge that she bends over backwards trying to accommodate me, but that I simply don't make the children a priority.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
17 August 2013 - No Show
So, the kids weren't online today. I received no phone call, no email, no communication of any kind telling me they wouldn't be online.
My ex has the kids all week long, and the only time she has to let them talk to their father is for 2 hours on Saturdays. She hasn't been able to do that fully since the agreement started. If they show up at all, they are half an hour late, at least.
I'm posting this because I'm very curious to see what excuse she will make this time. Last week there was no sound, and when I said to just let the kids type, she said, "We are borrowing this computer and the owner asked that the kids not touch the keyboard."
These are the kind of statements I have to try and respond to.
I'll update this post when I get her answer....
My ex has the kids all week long, and the only time she has to let them talk to their father is for 2 hours on Saturdays. She hasn't been able to do that fully since the agreement started. If they show up at all, they are half an hour late, at least.
I'm posting this because I'm very curious to see what excuse she will make this time. Last week there was no sound, and when I said to just let the kids type, she said, "We are borrowing this computer and the owner asked that the kids not touch the keyboard."
These are the kind of statements I have to try and respond to.
I'll update this post when I get her answer....
Saturday, July 27, 2013
27 July 2013
I get an email this morning from my ex, one of the things she said was,
"According to your availability regular webcam schedule is 7pm Saturdays and 7pm Fridays and Sundays with 24 hour notice. I work all of the webcam times, therefore if there is an issue I will not be able to address immediately."
She wrote the last sentence for 2 reasons. 1) She wanted to absolve herself of any responsibility of the kids not being online at the scheduled time, and 2) She knew they wouldn't be online today.
Of course, I took screenshots of them being Offline, but it doesn't really matter. I called the number she gave me several times. The first couple it rang, then it started going straight to voicemail - meaning she turned off the phone. I left a message. I emailed saying I was online. No response.
I just spoke with the kids yesterday. They were super excited to play their game today (which I spent all day working on just for tonight). But I should've expected this.
She also wrote in her email that the kids would call me every day, an hour before I went to school. I responded that this was overkill and completely unnecessary. First, the kids don't need to call me every single day (especially little kids that don't like talking on the phone to begin with). Second, I don't have a cell phone so I'd have to wait around for them to call every day, and that's ridiculous. Not to mention I might actually want to go do other things and go straight to school from there. But this was just another attempt of hers to probe into my weekly schedule and be disruptive. I know for a fact the kids don't want to talk on the phone every single day. That was her device.
I'm writing this because her lawyer just went to court yesterday and confirmed with the judge the Saturdays at 7pm. So this is, technically, her first violation of the new agreement. (She had twelve violations of the last one and that didn't count for anything, so I doubt these will either). I'm just recording it to see how many times she can ignore and violate court orders with absolutely no penalty whatsoever.
I'm sure there's a lot of you out there who have experienced similarly frustrating circumstances. I'm sorry that you have to endure this US court system nonsense.
"According to your availability regular webcam schedule is 7pm Saturdays and 7pm Fridays and Sundays with 24 hour notice. I work all of the webcam times, therefore if there is an issue I will not be able to address immediately."
She wrote the last sentence for 2 reasons. 1) She wanted to absolve herself of any responsibility of the kids not being online at the scheduled time, and 2) She knew they wouldn't be online today.
Of course, I took screenshots of them being Offline, but it doesn't really matter. I called the number she gave me several times. The first couple it rang, then it started going straight to voicemail - meaning she turned off the phone. I left a message. I emailed saying I was online. No response.
I just spoke with the kids yesterday. They were super excited to play their game today (which I spent all day working on just for tonight). But I should've expected this.
She also wrote in her email that the kids would call me every day, an hour before I went to school. I responded that this was overkill and completely unnecessary. First, the kids don't need to call me every single day (especially little kids that don't like talking on the phone to begin with). Second, I don't have a cell phone so I'd have to wait around for them to call every day, and that's ridiculous. Not to mention I might actually want to go do other things and go straight to school from there. But this was just another attempt of hers to probe into my weekly schedule and be disruptive. I know for a fact the kids don't want to talk on the phone every single day. That was her device.
I'm writing this because her lawyer just went to court yesterday and confirmed with the judge the Saturdays at 7pm. So this is, technically, her first violation of the new agreement. (She had twelve violations of the last one and that didn't count for anything, so I doubt these will either). I'm just recording it to see how many times she can ignore and violate court orders with absolutely no penalty whatsoever.
I'm sure there's a lot of you out there who have experienced similarly frustrating circumstances. I'm sorry that you have to endure this US court system nonsense.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
20 July 2013 - Skyping
Now that my ex hijacked the kids and moved them from one side of the country to the other (for the seventh time), I have to rely on video chats to see my kids.
My ex's first attempt to schedule times for video chatting was to tell me, "They can talk at 2 pm, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays." Not - what is your schedule? Or, what times work best for you and I'll see what times work best for me.... That's not how my ex works. She gives ultimatums and demands only. And she tries to make them as inconvenient as possible so that I'll disagree and she can throw her arms in the air and say, "No matter what I do, you disagree. I bend over backwards for you and you reject my attempts to give you time with the kids." That's actually a real quote, btw.
2pm Tues, Thurs and Sat?? Ummm - no? That's right in the middle of the day and completely random as to why. She doesn't have them in school - so it's not like they aren't home all day. No - the reason for this time was because she was trying 1) to be disruptive to my weekly schedule, and 2) to probe for information about my life.
At any rate, I eventually said, "Look, I'm not going to try and make a schedule so you can sabotage it. I'll be on Skype nearly every Saturday at 7 pm your time. If the kids are home and want to chat, they merely have to log on and see if I'm online. That's it."
Rejecting her attempt to control me through a schedule that flickers around her needs, she attempted to sabotage the very next Skype.
I got home at 6:30 (her time) and logged on immediately. According to Skype, they were not online. I waited 40 mins, then sent an email at 7:10 saying, "I'm online, I'll be here for another 10 mins or so and then I'm logging off."
Fortunately, I forgot to log off. At 7:30 they log on. I immediately sent messages. Hey Kids! Can you Skype? Hello? Hello??
Several minutes later a response came, "yes!" Then something peculiar happened. A message appeared before my first message (at 7:30) from her saying that the kids had been logged in for half an hour and were logging off. The message time stamp was 7:15.
Here's the deal - when you send a message, it time stamps when you click 'send'. However, if you're Offline when you send it, it will stamp and then wait until you sign in to deliver. Which means she wrote this message Offline and then signed in later so that the message would show that it was sent at 7:15.
She hadn't expected me to be online. She got my email at 7:10, stating I'd be around another 10 mins or so and then she purposely waited 20 mins and then signed on so the message would send. When I was still online and messaged her, she was caught off guard and had to let the kids talk or make up some last minute excuse. So she let them talk.
This is how clever she is when it comes to sabotage and manipulation. She knew Skype doesn't time stamp when you log in - only when you send messages. So if I hadn't been online, the records would show that her message was sent at 7:15. Brilliant, huh? Too bad I forgot to log off and disrupted her plans, Lol.
The thing you have to think about is - if she puts that much time and planning into the sabotaging of a single random video chat - just imagine how much plotting and manipulating she's doing when it's something important... This is what I have to deal with for the next 17 years of my life...
My ex's first attempt to schedule times for video chatting was to tell me, "They can talk at 2 pm, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays." Not - what is your schedule? Or, what times work best for you and I'll see what times work best for me.... That's not how my ex works. She gives ultimatums and demands only. And she tries to make them as inconvenient as possible so that I'll disagree and she can throw her arms in the air and say, "No matter what I do, you disagree. I bend over backwards for you and you reject my attempts to give you time with the kids." That's actually a real quote, btw.
2pm Tues, Thurs and Sat?? Ummm - no? That's right in the middle of the day and completely random as to why. She doesn't have them in school - so it's not like they aren't home all day. No - the reason for this time was because she was trying 1) to be disruptive to my weekly schedule, and 2) to probe for information about my life.
At any rate, I eventually said, "Look, I'm not going to try and make a schedule so you can sabotage it. I'll be on Skype nearly every Saturday at 7 pm your time. If the kids are home and want to chat, they merely have to log on and see if I'm online. That's it."
Rejecting her attempt to control me through a schedule that flickers around her needs, she attempted to sabotage the very next Skype.
I got home at 6:30 (her time) and logged on immediately. According to Skype, they were not online. I waited 40 mins, then sent an email at 7:10 saying, "I'm online, I'll be here for another 10 mins or so and then I'm logging off."
Fortunately, I forgot to log off. At 7:30 they log on. I immediately sent messages. Hey Kids! Can you Skype? Hello? Hello??
Several minutes later a response came, "yes!" Then something peculiar happened. A message appeared before my first message (at 7:30) from her saying that the kids had been logged in for half an hour and were logging off. The message time stamp was 7:15.
Here's the deal - when you send a message, it time stamps when you click 'send'. However, if you're Offline when you send it, it will stamp and then wait until you sign in to deliver. Which means she wrote this message Offline and then signed in later so that the message would show that it was sent at 7:15.
She hadn't expected me to be online. She got my email at 7:10, stating I'd be around another 10 mins or so and then she purposely waited 20 mins and then signed on so the message would send. When I was still online and messaged her, she was caught off guard and had to let the kids talk or make up some last minute excuse. So she let them talk.
This is how clever she is when it comes to sabotage and manipulation. She knew Skype doesn't time stamp when you log in - only when you send messages. So if I hadn't been online, the records would show that her message was sent at 7:15. Brilliant, huh? Too bad I forgot to log off and disrupted her plans, Lol.
The thing you have to think about is - if she puts that much time and planning into the sabotaging of a single random video chat - just imagine how much plotting and manipulating she's doing when it's something important... This is what I have to deal with for the next 17 years of my life...
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