Summer of 2003: "You never loved me! You never wanted to marry me!"

When I first started working at Home Expo in Utica, Michigan, my ex and I had only Justin.  We were living in a single bedroom apartment in Harrison Twp, not far from the home I grew up in.  It was a nice area, very close to Lake St. Clair and all the marinas and seafood restaurants.


I used to play poker Monday nights with an old crew from the movie theater I worked at in high school, but that ended after my ex repeatedly made drama, called me and made excuses for me to leave and return home.  One time she called and demanded I come home and kill a spider.  No joke.  And either way, I'd get the cold shoulder when I returned home.  So she could really make sure I knew how unhappy she was that I continued to hang out with my friends.  Eventually, it wasn't worth the stress, so I just stopped going.

When I got bored of having no social life and never hanging out with friends, I suggested to some coworkers at Expo that we all go play cards and pool at a bar right down the street from work.  People started going and once a week or so, we'd all hang out after work.  It was really the only social thing I did.  Of course, the ex didn't like this any more than she liked the poker games.

Soon, every argument we got into always ended with the same statement "You never loved me.  You never wanted to marry me!"

It didn't matter if the argument started over who should take out the garbage or which groceries we needed, it always ended in the same place, "You never loved me.  You never wanted to marry me!"

I can't tell you how many times I heard this over the years, or how many times I tried to argue that I did on both accounts, and that if I didn't, I wouldn't have done all the things I did for her.  (She had a VERY selective memory). It was all I could do to try and understand why nothing I said or did made a difference.  I could spend all day planning a unique Valentine's Day surprise - sprinkling a path of flower petals to lead her to one place with lit candles and a small note, then sprinkling a different kind of petal pathway leading to a different room with a different set of candles and a different themed note - and so forth throughout the home.  The end would be a big heart-shaped box of varied chocolates and a large love note.  This would make her happy for about a day, maybe two if I was lucky.  Then she'd rage at me for something else, with the same statements again, "You never loved me.  You never wanted to marry me!"

It was absolutely exhausting.  And it was only going to get worse.